The Struggle…

You struggle. Each day, every day. With people around you, near and dear to you.
The struggle is about everyday and everything.
The struggle is about basic little things like having to justify liking a cup of coffee because?
The struggle is to whether or not stay hidden in a cocoon.
The struggle is about letting you be.
The struggle is about liking your loneliness.
The struggle the about breaking free.
The struggle is whether or not to accept the freedom.
The struggle is about understanding what freedom really means.
The struggle is about proving yourself that you are worth it.
The struggle is to prove that you belong.
The struggle is about existing.
The struggle is to prove your existence.
The struggle is about proving to the world that you mean something.
The struggle is about your relevance. Mostly to yourself.
The struggle is real.
The struggle is meaningless.
The struggle is inside you.
The struggle is by you, for you.
Stop the struggle, to breathe and to live.

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

Because breaking is easier than holding on…

Breaking that something is always so easy. We humans are, in general, very destructive in nature. Hence, instead of being a little patient and giving things some time, we choose to walk out of pesky situations. Even if we become a little unconformable or if things become a little inconvenient for us, instead of adjusting we choose to look for better options. But we fail to understand that a “better option” can always make an other option look better.

Is it really that difficult to digest happiness or make peace with reality? How much does a person really need to lead a happy life? Relationships are nowadays being treated in a very casual and horrific way. We have no respect for each other, their feelings, no consideration for age or experience. We find it very easy to just let go. Without thinking of the consequences, we tend to take random decisions and choose the easier way out. We just cannot be satisfied.

As we grow and move towards development, it seems as if our mental development and sustainability is deteriorating day by day. We lack even the basics of humanity let alone our conscience. We are far from being humans. As an Indian, our ancestors were very proud of the culture, the “sanskar” and all those teachings that they gave the following generation. The perfect medium through which they made sure things happened was fear. If a kid won’t sleep, they would scare them with some imaginary ghost; if a girl is menstruating she cannot visit holy places as it disgraces our gods and something bad will happen if she does visit; we have to follow “shravan” cuz we need to please our gods and so on. Everything comes down to fear. The point is, there is no wholeheartedness in what we do. We do things just for the sake of doing, irrespective of our basic behavior.

Then enters westernization and urbanization which we Indians royally blame. Why? Because it’s easy to blame and we just love the blame game. Because more and more people started following the so called western culture and this lead to our so called Indian culture to be disgraced. The purity and simplicity in the Indian culture has been taken away by us Indians only. Instead of levying things on people, we need to try and make them accept things with logic.

Has urbanization really led people to being disrespectful, inconsiderate, carefree, and just plain stupid? In disguise of westernization and in the flow of following the western culture blindly, we have lost ourselves somewhere. It’s good to improvise and bring new changes. But the things that you pick up from the outside world need not be something stupid. Why not pick up the best from what others do instead of following everything blindly? The westerners have picked up everything good from us like yoga, work culture, meditation and even family life for that matter. And we are doing the exact opposite. We are more interested in breaking our families in the name of independence. What we really are? We are mere hypocrites.

We blame men for playing double standards and being perverts. But in today’s world, women are no different. Rather, with just the insensible shield of the law and freedom, women are taking undue advantages of the situation and making men suffer. Well, if the man is really pathetic and deserves to be punished, you have the law to back you. But why on earth would you spoil a man’s life just because you are in the mood to play? Doesn’t your conscious kill you down there? A woman is equally responsible for her suffering. If a man is wrong, walk out instead of suffering. If he’s not wrong, spend a happy life with him instead of banging your foot on an axe!

Relations are very delicate. Even a little bit of negativity and you just cannot get back to normal. It’s a gamble nowadays. You just can’t be sure of a person and say confidently that this person will never walk away. Divorce has become a piece of cake. Yes, it is very easy to walk out and give up. But how about you try and make things work for a change? You walk out of a relationship to be with someone else. What makes you so sure that the person you are with will never do the same what you did to the other person? If you walk out for the sake of monitory benefits, how long is that money going to keep you safe? Walking away for your career, who will you celebrate your success with? Marilyn Monroe once said, “A career is wonderful, but you can’t curl up with it on a cold night.”

You need real people to live your life with. Put in that extra effort to make things work for that effort will make sure you fall short of a regret. Think rationally. Be selfish in a different way for a change. Not everyone is blessed with happiness.

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

Weird is the new in…

Weird title right? I’m sure you went all “Huh?” at it. Have you ever considered dancing in the streets like those people do in Bollywood movies? No, you won’t take to something like that. Reasons? Too embarrassing, too much attention, fear of being judged, fear of being laughed at, again..too embarrassing.

Do any of those reasons make you feel good or bring a smile on your face? No, instead they sound like a burden. Have you ever observed kids? They do everything that makes them feel happy. They only look back to check if the people responsible for them, who they call their parents, are around and they get back to what they are doing. Just a glance is enough. They never feel embarrassed. They fall, do stupid things and yet they manage to make us feel good about what they do. We adults think a lot. We can never manage to let go and be like a kid instead. We think a lot about the people around us and what they might think about our behavior.

One fine day, you wake up and feel like going for a bungee jump, the first person ready to accompany you, are the kind of people you want around yourself. Not the types who go all, “Huh? Are you out of your mind? Shut up and sleep back.” on you. You might sound like a nut-crack or crazy but if that’s something which will make you happy, why not? These are the kind of people who will pull you back. They’ll make fun of you but somewhere down, they know they want to feel as free as you do when you think and do such things. None of these people are going to come to your rescue when you are in trouble. The ones who turn up will never be bothered by your craziness. It is considered irresponsible and carefree but, Duh! That’s what we are aiming for.

What do you think weird means? If you go by the dictionary, you’ll end up being tagged as possessed or something supernatural. But according to the Urban Dictionary, it’s crazy, strange, odd or even awkward. So, you would at least sound natural and not supernatural. Keeping the definitions aside, just think about it. Doesn’t it get monotonous? Pleasing people, doing what they like you to do and all that. Pleasing someone should be like the last thing on your mind. Think about a particular attire which you like so much that you could wear it anywhere. Let’s take the well-known example of sports shoes on Salwar Kameez/Saree. The women who wear it are so comfortable. They don’t really care what the world thinks about them. But when we see something like that, we give them weird looks.

It is just all about opening up. You feel you are answerable? But to whom and why? There’s no harm in doing something which makes you feel good. Bunk that lecture and go play a football match; quit your job and take up to your hobby as your career; eat ice-cream when you have a cold, trust me it will work wonders than those stupid medicines. Talking over phone and need to note down a number? Try writing on your leg instead. Why? Because writing on paper is too mainstream. Sounds crazy right? If you stop bothering, it will make you feel way better. Weird is not how you are, weird is how the world looks at you.

To the weird ones, you think you are the only ones? Just look around and you’ll find plenty. Even the ones who think you are a crack head, you find them weird yourself, right? It’s about giving a darn to the world. We are born to die, but in the meanwhile, how about living a little? And instead of living a boring monotonous life, live! My suggestion? Go have that dance in the rain at Marine Drive as if no one’s looking (don’t bother if anyone is because it’s their problem and not yours). If you are a hygiene lover, run to that pani puri stall and dig into the yummy taste. Live on your instincts, just don’t kill anyone in the spree.

Take the burden off your tiny little shoulders and live your life to enjoy every moment. You just get one beautiful life and it’s upto you to decide how you want to be remembered after you die. Weirdness is a part of you, cherish it. Because killing yourself to a boring life is too mainstream.

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

You have my word…

When I say the word commitment, what’s the first thing that strikes your mind? Is it affection, relationship, a promise or may be even marriage. Very rarely do people give it a broad thought. Not just relationships, but commitment can be applicable for many other instances and at many different levels.

Different people have different definitions for this term. For some it’s dedication, it’s desire, some say it’s prioritization, for some it’s respect and for some it’s truth or trust. According to me, these are all just ways to follow or keep a commitment. Commitment is giving your word for something, it’s a bond, a promise. You can be committed to many different things, to many different people at many different levels at the same time. You could even be committed to yourself at many different levels, for that matter. Yes, of course you can commit to yourself, however bizarre that might sound.

It is definitely not a piece of cake. You are tested by fate at every level with patience, situations, truthfulness and sincerity. Sincerely fulfilling a commitment is indeed a testing fact of life. Not at all an easy choice but definitely a significant one. But do commitments change? I asked a few people around and trust me people do take commitments very seriously. At least in their words they do, you never know if they actually try to fulfill them or just give excuses for not being able to do that. Changing of commitments is not like changing of priorities. You commit to something, you fulfill it, or at least I feel so. Our priorities keep changing depending upon our commitments. Your work commitments, your personal commitments as well as your self commitments are different and have different level of importance given by you, yourself. But are you sure you have it all sorted? My point with all this is to know if you really do understand the difference and if you have achieved a balance with your commitments accordingly.

Like I said, every commitment for every other person holds a different level of significance. For some, their work commitments could be important and for some their personal commitments. The third option is often neglected by many. It depends how seriously we take them. If you have a commitment towards your work, it means you have to show results. But it also depends what all are you ready to do in order to achieve them. You may simply continue working and not make much of a difference, or take added steps to make your results different, prominent. The same goes with your personal commitments. You live your life, you feed your kids, you keep your husband and in-laws and even your parents happy. But do you really take an initiative to make that life a little more interesting or happier? Routine is not interesting. Your self commitments play a very important role with respect to all your commitments. If you cannot keep the promises you make to yourself, well, then you have a lot to catch up before you take big vows. Just doing your duty is not fulfilling your commitments. This term is a huge part of your life and it needs to be treated accordingly, given its due respect.

Now, over to a tougher question, when would you say you have broken a commitment?
You promise your 3 year old a chocolate once you return, but while pulling your car out of the parking lot, when the thought crossed your mind, even if you could go to the store on the way, you ignored it.

You have a plan with your fiancee, but your boss calls in for a last moment meeting, and rather than leaving a message or calling her to tell her that the plan has been postponed, you simply walk into that room and instead of wrapping up quick, you stay further. 

You have a client waiting for you but you have had a long tiring day. You call the meeting off just because you can’t take it anymore, ignoring the fact that the client has also adjusted the time for your meet and also has been through a lot.
That’s breaking a commitment. If you can’t take a hint there, I don’t know how else to explain this better.

Time, I always feel is your own personal property. You are the sole owner and you are the only one who decides what to do with it. You take it on a toll you take it for a ride, other elements are always going to be there to watch the show and give in their inputs. Sometimes you can’t really help it, and obviously your people understand. But you need to understand that your words are the only thing that can make a difference. Also, the way you put them through. All this is for the next time, anyway.

Commitments are not easily made nor easily broken. I should be rather using the word “shouldn’t”. They are different from promises and it’s high time people understand that. When you sign that bond you are tagged with the company, when you sign those marriage papers, you are committed for the lifetime. We can always wiggle our way out. But staying is what matters. Choose for yourself, your choice is going to make a difference for you.

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

Adjusting To The Changing Elements…

You have different people in your life playing different roles. They have their roles to play. Some with the lead roles with you, stay longer or sometimes till the end, and some simply play a supporting role. These roles are determined by your actions and their purpose. They play, they leave. You don’t want to be like the stage on which they are performing. But as a lead, you are always there and move on with your life once that play is over. We are all actors and have to be the best performers in order to stay on top.

But every actor has a phase and once that is over, you are left with just yourself and your life. Very rarely does an actor have a life like Amitabh Bachchan or Jackie Chan. And yet, you have to keep performing, whether anyone’s watching you or not.

Like I mentioned earlier, people perform and people leave. This is something which is difficult to digest by most of us. Of course, it’s not easy to adjust to something you are used to for a couple of weeks, months or even years for that matter. The most hateful part of our lives is adjustment. We all have hated adjusting to something, or accepting the fact that we are not going to get something which we really, really want at that moment. We learn this first during our childhood, when our parents teach us to adjust when we change our school or go to live in a new place. Then we go to college make new friends and when finally we start to work and settle down, there is a complete different set of people around us.

Weird, isn’t it? How we transition from our childhood friends, to school friends, to college friends and then finally work colleagues who turn out to be your good friends. After all this, when you start a family, it’s a different scenario altogether. In between all these years, you also tend to meet many random people who sometimes may stick around for long. Not necessary, that you give up on either of these batches. Some people tend to last long with their childhood friends, some with their school friends, some with colleagues and some with the random bunch. But no matter what, you will always have a set of people around you.

Your life goes through a lot of ups and downs, and with these even the people in it face the same. Once they are shuffled, the ones who try and get back to their original position, depending upon how much you matter to them, win the “Forever” tag in your life. The others are left where they were shuffled to and slowly tend to leave your circle. You need not be mean or disappointed with this fact, as you follow the same pattern in others’ life. You cannot blame people for this. It’s just how life works.

Life is meant to keep changing and along with it, the elements in it. So there’s really no point on crying over or being disappointed upon things which not in your control. You just play the game and learn to adjust. Have you heard of anyone who has attempted suicide because of losing one’s parents? No, because you have accepted the fact that it is going to happen some day or other. So you live with it. The same should be the case with everything and everyone else. No one comes with a warranty card in their hands. They just come, play their part and move on. You take all you have to take from them (immaterial), and learn to let them go. If they still have a role, they’ll come back. Oh and once they do, don’t start yelling at them for vanishing, even they have just got to know about the extended role. Sometimes a character dies in a part and the same person comes out in a different avatar. Similarly, your relations with some people in your life might change, but that doesn’t mean their role is redundant or not important. You just need to adjust and live with the fact that they still exist in your lives. As a matter of fact, every character stays till the end. Some in the form of memories.

It’s just best to embrace some hard facts in life and stop being in denial. No one said life was going to be easy.

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

Connecting The Connections…

Connections are very necessary for us to lead our lives and stay happy. We need interaction we need people around us, we want us to be around people. But to what extent do we need people and people need us? There are some who find the need to stay connected all the time

I feel sometimes, I’m not worth relationships. I have emotions but they are practical emotions. I’m not a bitch, I’m just good at moving on. I’m not really selfish but not selfless either. I stand by people but not after they walk out on me. I walk out on them but after trying and stretching on the league. Isn’t that is what being practical means? I guess, I just believe in individuality.

Wish life was a little simpler. Wish we didn’t always have to define things or decide between right and wrong. It doesn’t feel free in the so called free world. We are always in a web, a connection. People think they always need to be in touch with the ones they are close to. They keep on going, talking to each other day in and day out. Texting, chatting, calling and even stalking has become everyone’s definition of connection.

I ask why? Can’t friends who meet after a few weeks, rather than a few hours be the closest? Do couples who talk just once in a day, not love each other? Is it really that necessary to literally stick to each other, spend time with each other, as if it was the last day of you two living together? People sometimes misunderstand interference with communication. You need to stay communicated, and by that I mean, you need to give enough time to know what’s happening in someone’s life, and not rule it. The people who do that, later end up realizing that they are fed up of the person they are with, as everything is getting suffocating. Why do it at the first place then? Everyone needs their own space. No matter what you do, you need to understand that all of us are different individuals and we all have our own, self defined views. Also, we need to respect the fact that, our partner or friend or any individual for that matter, has a personal opinion about something, just like you do.

Relationships don’t really mean anything to us when such feelings come up. We look more into getting away from each other, rather than trying to make things work. Even if a person is your best friend, you need to know your limits while suggesting, advising or even behaving with that person. Let alone best friend, even with your husband/wife, your parents or kids for that matter, you have your own limitations. You don’t rule someone’s life but yours, and hence it’s important for you to not impose your views on someone. So if a person doesn’t want to share something, it’s nothing about you. It’s just a person own space which in question and every person deserves it. The more you run behind something, the more it runs away from you.

Connections are pretty delicate. You need to be very careful when managing them. They can make your life good and they also have the power to ruin it. But after all, it’s always in your own hands.

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

Setting Yourself Free…

Everyone has their own definition of being high. People smoke, smoke up, take to alcohol and drugs, just to feel that ecstasy, get that sense of freedom, as if you have been flying in mid-air. Sometimes it’s just to give you a rush or a false feeling of an energized self. Having been a caffeneaholic, not so long ago, I can count in caffeine in this list too. It all starts with that one needy feeling first, and then you feel as if your world is going to end if you don’t get your stuff at that very moment. Your excuses just don’t seem to die then. Trust me, all lame reasons and I’m sure half the time we just know this somewhere down.

Think of it this way, all of these are useless, harmful addictions. Yes, you know this pretty well too. But, it just doesn’t work to get a grip. What if your addictions could help you grow? What I mean is, we can get addicted to practically anything. It works in the following sequence:

1. We should have tried it at least once.
2. We like it so much that it becomes a daily habit.
3. You increase the frequency.
4. Tada! You are addicted!

This can happen in case of any, and everything in your life. You can instead have productive additions. You know what being high really is? Being driven by your passion, forgetting hunger and thirst behind it and when you stop, you find an animated world around you, passing by. Yes, you can get addicted to the work you do, the sport you play, the people you are with, the travel you do, anything. Doesn’t that already sound productive? You are so washed of by the work you do that you cannot think of anything else till you finish it. Best part is, it’s a win-win situation! You get an addiction and plus, you get results! Results could be in the form of anything, like if your work is your addiction, you get paid, a sport will get you recognized, travel will get you to knowing and understand different places and people. Sounds cool right? I know the feeling.

But, my lovelies, just like any other addiction, this is yet another addiction and you must have heard the proverb, “Anything in excess is always harmful”. So no matter how productive your addiction is, it leads to some or the other damage, and after some time, you start losing your productivity as well. You cannot stretch yourself beyond a point, be it with work, a sport or your health. All of them lead to the major issue, that is, your health. Your body has it’s limits. Agreed, your limits can be decided by you and it depends on how much you stretch yourself. But trust me, it’s not how much you stretch yourself but “How” you stretch yourself. Just like when you are high on alcohol or weed, you don’t realize your limits or don’t feel your strength, similarly, your addiction doesn’t let you realize the amount of energy you have been putting in and the amount of damage that has already been caused.

The best excuse we use is that, this is our age to do it and this is the only time we can stretch ourselves. That’s not completely untrue but no, this is not the time to test your limits. Your bodily limits have already been set and they cannot be changed. I’m not getting into biology and metabolism here, you can do your own research on that, but the point is, though at our age of say 20-25 we can do a lot, but that doesn’t mean we stretch out extremes and tear our body into pieces and bring it down to it’s worn out limits. Remember, there are still many more years and days to pass. Imagine passing them on a bed with someone on your side for your aid. Shuddering thought right? Not being able to do anything on your own, being dependent on someone for something as small as a need to Pee. That’s not leading your life, that’s just passing through the days just got the heck of it. Worse is, you don’t even look healthy!

The point is, you can avoid all this with just some self-control. of course it is difficult. But with the help of someone who really wants you to get rid of your insane habits, this could really be easy. You just need to take up an initiative and trust the person who’s trying to help you. Mind well, do not scream on the person for being helpful when the person is being stern! It’s your loss that way and not the person’s.

Be it alcohol, weed, smoke, caffeine, drugs, work, passion, anything, all of them have the same end story. You end up losing yourself and your people. This is the least you can do for yourself and especially for the people around you who care for you. Earn well, really well. Get yourself busy, very busy. Drink till you drop, smoke till your flying. But do it just once in a while and keep your senses up and running. If you can manage that, nothing like it. Your work is never going to stop, the needy feeling is never going to fade off. All you need to do is, get a grip and give up. Give up for yourself!

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

P.S: Self-control can be addictive too. Let’s give it a thought, shall we? 😉

There’s no tomorrow…

Tonight the sky cries, tomorrow there won’t be a sunrise
The muck will be muckier, and the clouds will never get clear

There would be trees falling, the envelope lightening
The kids will get in their beds earlier, for there is so much fear

 

The heaven resounds its laughter, there would be nothing but emptiness, forever and after
Every life seems to be drowning under its own breath, every life is sure of just death

People cling to each other, care, love, help and protect everyone, call each their brother
They laugh, they cry, they sing songs and on each other they rely

There are no barriers no discrimination, no killing or fighting, just a clear, loving formation
Love becomes their soul’s best side, for they now realize they cannot alone pass this dangerous tide

Just then the pouring turns into drops, and the evil laughter finally stops
The sound resounding is of no more to fear

This is all I always asked of you it says, the one who breaks this formation surely makes everyone pay
The path further is too wide and not at all narrow, stick together you fools for you need to realize and live everyday as if there’s no tomorrow…

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

Don’t Fake It…

People don’t generally realize that in order to lead a neat life, they need to be responsible enough for themselves. It’s easy to lie and fake, but then you cannot expect things to go easy on you. You cannot expect people to be true to you either. Out of habit they might just ignore you when you really are in need and looking for some genuine help. This is because you made them judge you and make an opinion about you. You can’t really blame them you know.

Simpler the things, simpler they are to understand. Why not just be who you are, like what you like and do what you want to do? Why the pretense? Not like it helps you in any way and lets you get all the respect and value in the world, eh? It gives you nothing but a fake assurance that you have been successful in making a fool out of people, but the fact remains distinct. The fact is, you are not comfortable in your own skin. This means you do not accept the way you are. People usually tend to take an advantage of this. Also, the ones close to you (if any) will lose faith in you. Oh and how can I forget the fun that people would make of you! That will be behind your back, of course. So basically the scenario is neither that great nor appealing.

When I talk about being fake, I don’t mean you shouldn’t change. It is absolutely normal not to like some of your own ways, but to change those ways you first need to accept them as Your ways. Only by accepting yourself the way you are, you can make up your mind to bring about the change in you. Again, there is a difference between accepting yourself truly and faking the acceptance. Obviously, no one likes to be or being called wrong, but you’ll definitely be annoyed in such a situation. Now, there is also a slight difference between being right and wrong. Frankly, in my opinion, nothing is ever right or wrong. They are simply views or opinions. A ‘right’ is an opinion and so is ‘wrong’. Let’s not get too deep into that for now. The point is, faking has never served anyone any good. So instead, why not be true to yourself and then eventually to others? This helps you gain respect for you in your own eyes first and then further in the world’s eyes (if you care, that is). It is better than living in an imaginary world of pretense, to live in a world of respect and dignity of whatever you are. No matter what you are, who you are, you will always respect yourself. With a clean and open conscience, things become clearer too. And there remains no place for any complications. Right? Give it a thought.

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!