Being Friends Forever…

Jacqueline and Isabella lived in a very nice neighbourhood in Boston, Massachusetts in the US. They stayed in each other’s vicinity, just a block away from each other. Jackie had a younger brother called John, while Ella had an elder brother called Jacob. Both girls weren’t really fond of each other. However, for the lack of company and anyone to play with, they played with each other through their childhood. Their common places to play would be the backyards or front-yards of their houses or the nearby park.

Jackie was strong headed, arrogant and self-obsessed while Ella was soft and introverted. She also looked fragile while Jackie was healthy and plump. The only reason they could get along together was that they were of the same age. Jackie was just a month older than Ella. They had been the best of friends from the moment they set eyes on each other. But they were friends who played together every day. Jackie would usually lead the games they played, the places they went to, or even whether they played or not and Ella would usually give into her plans. She wasn’t much of a leader then and would always prefer to give in instead of arguing.

It was all going fine when one day suddenly, they had this huge fight on some silly reason. They had a new girl on the block and Ella started to play with her as well. That meant less time for Jackie to dictate her. Jackie was very upset and told Ella to not play with her. But Ella started to like it more with the new girl and started playing with her more often than with Jackie. Jackie picked up a fight with the new girl and Ella stood by the new girl and against Jackie, which infuriated her even further. After that day, even when both of them passed each other, they never spoke to each other or even looked at each other. They were also not in the same school which worked in their favour of not crossing each other.

Many years passed without them seeing each other in the eye and one fine day, Ella’s parents decided to put her in a different school. This was the same where Jackie went. At first, they continued not talking to each other, until they were partnered on a project. They forgot everything about their fight in the past and became friends again. This worked out for them and they started hanging out again. They were in their teens by this time so they bonded over a lot of things like music, boyfriends, girlfriends, ambitions, and so on. Ella was starting to open up in her teens more. She had started to voice her opinions, while Jackie became less overpowering. They stuck together in high school as well. But soon, it was time for both of them to go to college. They were different people, so their choices were different too.

The two friends went into a different world altogether in college. Their connection broke again. In the meantime, Ella lost her elder brother Jacob in a car accident. She was really close to him and was really broken. She kept to herself, didn’t go out much, didn’t have many friends. Jackie, on the other hand, was trying every piece of new thing coming her way. She was being adventurous and friends with her new college buddies. They were again poles apart. Ella however, had started to become a little harsh by keeping to herself. She didn’t fancy talking to people anymore or being nice to them as she used to. She had become a completely different version of her.

Jacqueline and Isabella had become new versions of themselves and one fine day, their paths crossed. Jackie heard someone arguing smartly with a shopkeeper who tried to steal from an old lady. The voice sounded familiar and she was surprised to see Ella. “Ella, is that you?”, Jackie asked her. Hearing her name, Ella turned to her and instantly recognized Jackie. They then told off the shopkeeper together and headed out for a cup of coffee. Ella told her about Jacob and Jackie felt sorry for her friend. They promised to keep in touch. They were inseparable again. This time they remained connected. They both taught each other different ways from their different worlds. Jackie showed Ella her outwardly ways and also called her in for her adventures, while Ella taught her to be calmer and a better version of herself. Ella had become matured after Jacob’s death as her family now considered her to be the elder in the house. They were each other’s support systems. They didn’t need anyone else when they were together. Ella kept Jackie grounded while Jackie brought Ella’s adventure instincts out. Together Jacqueline and Isabella were the best of friends. Jackie was still more possessive about Ella. She wanted Ella to be all to herself but now she was a matured version of herself. Ella also knew this and tried to give in to certain things which Jackie expected. She would always let Jackie have her way just like she did in their childhood.

Once out of college, both of the girls had to move out for a job. This time there was nothing keeping them away from each other as their bond had become very strong. Irrespective of being in different cities, they would call each other every day and meet almost every weekend. They would also take turns in visiting each other’s parents if the other couldn’t make it. They were like this one big happy family. The day Ella got married, Jackie cried the most. Ella cried looking at no one but Jackie. They knew their lives were going to change, but they also knew that their relationship was stronger than needing any reason to exist in each other’s lives.

Their lives went on and they always stayed connected. Two girls who started to be together because they didn’t have an option, didn’t have an option to separate from each other as destiny had their lives intertwined. Jacqueline and Isabella are still what we call friendship goals.

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

Advice, Not Decisions…

“Step into my shoes and then advice.” Do you get this often from someone you are trying to help with your suggestions or expert comments? Well, your intentions are not wrong and you really, genuinely want to help this person. You sure do. But, has it ever occurred to you that maybe, just maybe your solution is not what they might need? No matter what, you are a third person for this situation to get to you, really. You might really want to step into (figuratively, of course) the person’s shoes you are advising and then, maybe, you could get better clarity of what’s really happening. Have you ever felt what the person might be going through? Ok, let’s consider you have been through a similar situation. But, hey, that’s still similar and not the same.

There are times when you connect with someone so hard, just because you have something very precious in common. Your habits, your likings or maybe your feelings about something or someone in particular. This person is the one who “just gets you”. You don’t even need to explain things to make this person understand your thoughts. Unsaid words are just understood between you. This person knows what you really need and when to hold the horses. Well that’s the only thing really important, isn’t it? Knowing when to stop. We tend to over-suggest sometimes. We frustrate ourselves with the person’s incapability of seeing things as clearly as you do. But why should there be an imposition? Whatever suggestion you are making, if the person takes it, it is going to affect their lives, not yours. So, why such an annoyance when the person takes his/her time in contemplating whether your suggestions are going to work for them or no?

“It’s easier said than done.” This is something we get often too. Work problems? Quit the job. Annoying boss? Tell him off. Got groped in public? Show the asshole his place. Broke up or got separated? Move on, date someone else. Sometimes, if things happen out of the blue and when you are not expecting them, some brains take time to even register something of this sort could happen. There’s no point forcing things down people’s throat. Everyone needs their time. Not like they don’t know what’s best for them. Well, in fact, everyone knows deep down what’s best for them. But sometimes you are too clung on to things for you to get clarity in your head to do the right thing. It happens when it has to happen.

Giving ideas, throwing suggestions is easy. Implementing them is difficult. Sometimes you just have to hear it out and not suggest anything. Instead, think about how you can make the situation lighter and shower more love on the person to help them make space for clarity. In a moving life, it’s not possible to start over something. But it’s just possible to not rush to things just because you have to flush the difficulties, right? Seeing your loved ones, the ones you care for, in trouble, is difficult. But you need to do something which is more difficult than that – give them time. Just suggest, and let them make their own decisions.

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

It’s all about a little effort…

Taking people for granted is something that comes to us humans very naturally. In the times of our parents or our ancestors, people would care about others’ feelings, while today’s generation is more focused on keeping themselves happy. Our lives revolve around our careers, our people, and having fun. When I include our people, I mean they being around us and making us feel happy. But, what do we do to make sure they want to be in our lives? Do we put in any efforts to please them, to keep them happy, to make them feel wanted?

Being in a career oriented or a focused generation, we involve ourselves completely in pleasing our managers, our bosses, our seniors, and every soul who we think will ensure a boost in our career. We do this irrespective of being anyone, from a corporate employee to a businessman. Jahase munafa, waha pe focus aur efforts. While that’s our priority, the close ones in our lives are more of a support system. They are assumed to be “always there”. We expect them to rejoice our victories, alleviate our pain or failures, they are expected to always “understand”. Whether we do that in return is never thought about.

There’s not much that is needed. Only an attempt at putting in some minuscule efforts in making them feel they are a part of everything we do. If you say you do it, try recollecting the last time you said ‘I love you’ to your wife, or your mother, your children or even your father. It’s that basic. The smile that you get is priceless. It’s all about putting that conscious effort. And please don’t say that you do it on their birthdays or some special occasions. These days are a mandate and it’s a basic expectation that you need to make them feel special. But is that enough? What if you are fed a special dinner only on your birthday and the rest of the days you are made to eat daal chawal. Would that suffice? Wouldn’t you expect exciting food to be cooked over weekends? Many people crib about boring food cooked for dinner, saying after a long tiring day the least they expect is some good food. So, if you can’t deal with monotony every day and expect things to be done apart from your birthdays or special occasions, why can’t your loved ones expect you to shower some love every day?

They are supposed to understand our moods, our tiredness, our irritation and anger. But don’t you think the main reason they are in our lives is to make these feelings go away? Isn’t the reason we have them in our lives is to make us feel happy about our lives? Of course you need your space some times or rather most of the times. But shoving them away or yelling at them is not the solution. Or rather that’s the most stupid thing to do. Our generation is very low on patience. When they are trying to make an effort, we don’t return that effort. Instead we make it more difficult for them by being impatient and increase their irritation. Don’t forget, they have their own lives, their own irritations, their own problems that they are dealing with. Probably not letting you know about them inorder to not increase your stress. But do you do that too? Or do you tend to increase their irritation and stress? Share your problems, share your thoughts. That way they won’t be wondering what went wrong that you are not talking to them or what did they do to irritate you. The distance between two beds is the longest distance and it takes a lot to reduce this distance.

We take relationships very casually. Our parents are the most neglected people in our lives. Unfortunately, it’s too late by the time we understand this. Especially our fathers. They are always invisible. But when they are gone, we feel them the most. We think they are here to stay, but imagine a day when you had a fight with the person you love the most in your life, which you could have easily avoided by being a little patient and understanding. You still have that anger filled in your head with all the heated conversation so you don’t talk to each other. This loved one meets with an accident an dies. Can you imagine the feeling when you come to know the last thing you said to this person was so nasty, you could kill yourself for that? All your memories would be clouded just with that one thought. Imagine living with this hole in your heart. If you live each day with this feeling in your heart and the thought in your mind, you will start caring more. Better later than never right? Why don’t we start caring about our people from this moment on and say that we love them from the deepest corners of our heart? Do that little something that makes them happy and brings a smile on their faces. It’s all about putting that little effort. Try it?

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

The mountain story…

I like mountains, I like the sun rays playing with the clouds on these mountains. I like the wind blowing in my hair, when I’m standing atop one, and the whizzing sound ringing my ears. I like the peace that the valleys bring. The fear that grips your heart when you look down into the dark invisible distance.

I like to just sit there in that silence, with my ears ringing and the cool breeze on my face, watching the clouds change shape and cover the mountains, the haze that covers the sun, changing the scenery. I like it when this change in the scenery cools down everything around me and the cold wind blows into the trees, rustling the leaves and making their presence felt. They are my companion, they are the only witness of this nature’s play. We stay there in silence, watching the sky change its color and the mountains change their shade.

I like staying in the mountains, watching them play with the sun, the wind, the clouds, and the sky.

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

The Wandering Soul…

She was like the wind. She would go places, touching and soothing each soul

She was like the butterfly, sucking nectar from the flowers

She was like the sunshine, brightening up her surroundings

She was a loner, a happy loner. Creating magic in every moment

Only that her happiness was short lived

She was burdened with the glorious purpose

The expectations, the people, life in general, was ruthless, and wouldn’t suit her

Her grace died with her involvement in life and she couldn’t revive

Only memories remain of the moments she spread happiness in

Now, she would just exist; exist as an entity and not like a living life

She would just cherish the memories; her and the souls whom she had touched with her sweet nectar

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

Ek Cup Chai…

They often met in the evening over dinner or just a cup of tea. Talked about their day, vented out their frustrations, or sometimes just acted foolish and made fun of each other. They found this better than directly heading back home. After their meet they would head home, content. In love all over again, they would catch up on some sound sleep, holding each other.

They hadn’t met for days. Although, both kept blaming their busy schedules, it was more of a juggle of taking each other for granted with prioritizing their time. They were growing frustrated, impatient and kept losing it on each other.
One day, after an unnecessary argument, they lay beside each other as usual, this time their faces turned to opposite directions. While lying there, one of them thought it was high time they met. Next day, a date was fixed for just a cup of tea. However late, none of them was allowed to give any excuses.
That evening, they had the best conversation and the best time ever, a long time after their marriage, over Ek Cup Chai.

This goes out to all the married couples out there. After the first year of marriage, that is once your honeymoon period is over, that’s when you feel the change. You start settling in and taking your better half for granted. Change is when you feel different, change is when you don’t want the monotone, change is when you feel you need to be different. Love always grows, it is never stagnant. Marriage shouldn’t be an excuse to end things, it gives you even more reasons to love each other, do more things to show your love and come closer.  Playing around your pretty little secrets, things you like to do for each other, skipping certain plans just to spend time with each other, all this counts as much after marriage and just because you are married doesn’t mean you need to be all serious and should stop doing things. That desire of wanting to be around your person all the time, the excitement of wanting your love to be the first one to know about something that happened – be it the silliest of things, going beyond your limits to do something to make your partner happy, you live on all such moments.

To keep your relationship healthy, it is all the more important for you to have healthy conversations and keep time off for each other. What is more important is, to understand when the other needs space. Although you are partners, you are two different individuals and it is important to respect that you might not like the same things. You compromise, which is a different thing but the adjustments should be noted and returned as well.

Love is really not as complicated as they make it look like. It is the most beautiful, the purest and simplest of things. It just needs you to keep loving and things fall in place on their own, effortlessly.

Love is happiness, and happiness is the time you take out for just Ek Cup Chai…

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

You are my favorite habit…

You are my habit now, more of a part of my own living

Missing you is my habit now, more like twisting the ring on my finger, it doesn’t feel new, you don’t feel new; this oldness is more likable

I miss you as I watch a movie, witnessing love bloom on the reel or maybe a fight scene

I miss you as I see a couple pass by, a child cry or a family wry; laughing, crying and making promises to each other

I miss you as someone speaks of anything, I can relate anything and everything to you

I miss you as I start talking about you, I can simply go on with the same zeal as my first word about you

I miss you every time I cook something, I want you to taste and like everything I make; the secret is, it’s all for you

I miss you while staring at blank space, I try and make shapes out of nothing, your face and our memories and maybe I do smile at one or two

I miss you with every passing moment; but being true, I never miss you, for your thoughts live through my breath and I simply live you, moment by moment

And you know, this momentary habit that I have inculcated lately? It’s my favorite!

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

Because breaking is easier than holding on…

Breaking that something is always so easy. We humans are, in general, very destructive in nature. Hence, instead of being a little patient and giving things some time, we choose to walk out of pesky situations. Even if we become a little unconformable or if things become a little inconvenient for us, instead of adjusting we choose to look for better options. But we fail to understand that a “better option” can always make an other option look better.

Is it really that difficult to digest happiness or make peace with reality? How much does a person really need to lead a happy life? Relationships are nowadays being treated in a very casual and horrific way. We have no respect for each other, their feelings, no consideration for age or experience. We find it very easy to just let go. Without thinking of the consequences, we tend to take random decisions and choose the easier way out. We just cannot be satisfied.

As we grow and move towards development, it seems as if our mental development and sustainability is deteriorating day by day. We lack even the basics of humanity let alone our conscience. We are far from being humans. As an Indian, our ancestors were very proud of the culture, the “sanskar” and all those teachings that they gave the following generation. The perfect medium through which they made sure things happened was fear. If a kid won’t sleep, they would scare them with some imaginary ghost; if a girl is menstruating she cannot visit holy places as it disgraces our gods and something bad will happen if she does visit; we have to follow “shravan” cuz we need to please our gods and so on. Everything comes down to fear. The point is, there is no wholeheartedness in what we do. We do things just for the sake of doing, irrespective of our basic behavior.

Then enters westernization and urbanization which we Indians royally blame. Why? Because it’s easy to blame and we just love the blame game. Because more and more people started following the so called western culture and this lead to our so called Indian culture to be disgraced. The purity and simplicity in the Indian culture has been taken away by us Indians only. Instead of levying things on people, we need to try and make them accept things with logic.

Has urbanization really led people to being disrespectful, inconsiderate, carefree, and just plain stupid? In disguise of westernization and in the flow of following the western culture blindly, we have lost ourselves somewhere. It’s good to improvise and bring new changes. But the things that you pick up from the outside world need not be something stupid. Why not pick up the best from what others do instead of following everything blindly? The westerners have picked up everything good from us like yoga, work culture, meditation and even family life for that matter. And we are doing the exact opposite. We are more interested in breaking our families in the name of independence. What we really are? We are mere hypocrites.

We blame men for playing double standards and being perverts. But in today’s world, women are no different. Rather, with just the insensible shield of the law and freedom, women are taking undue advantages of the situation and making men suffer. Well, if the man is really pathetic and deserves to be punished, you have the law to back you. But why on earth would you spoil a man’s life just because you are in the mood to play? Doesn’t your conscious kill you down there? A woman is equally responsible for her suffering. If a man is wrong, walk out instead of suffering. If he’s not wrong, spend a happy life with him instead of banging your foot on an axe!

Relations are very delicate. Even a little bit of negativity and you just cannot get back to normal. It’s a gamble nowadays. You just can’t be sure of a person and say confidently that this person will never walk away. Divorce has become a piece of cake. Yes, it is very easy to walk out and give up. But how about you try and make things work for a change? You walk out of a relationship to be with someone else. What makes you so sure that the person you are with will never do the same what you did to the other person? If you walk out for the sake of monitory benefits, how long is that money going to keep you safe? Walking away for your career, who will you celebrate your success with? Marilyn Monroe once said, “A career is wonderful, but you can’t curl up with it on a cold night.”

You need real people to live your life with. Put in that extra effort to make things work for that effort will make sure you fall short of a regret. Think rationally. Be selfish in a different way for a change. Not everyone is blessed with happiness.

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

Understanding The Space…

“It’s gone”, she says.
“Did you check the drawer?” He asks, checking the cupboard.
“Yes.”, she says giving him a helpless look.
“It’s ok. We can get a new one.”
“How could I be so careless.”
“It’s ok honey, stop blaming yourself. We have checked everywhere. No point looking for it now.”

She sits down feeling terrible. He goes to her and tries to calm her down. It was something dear to him too. She rests her head on his shoulder and says, “I know you hate me right now. But trust me I had kept it very carefully.” He wraps his right hand around her and caresses her head with the left, smiling he says, “I know you must have. But sometimes, the things that we try and be too protective about, are the ones we tend to lose very easily. While keeping such things safe, we are very careful as to not lose them. We are very sure that they are safe and hence we don’t bother to check. We think it’s in the best interest. But sometimes, there are things that we cannot see. These are the ones we need to be careful about.”
“What do you mean?”, she asks.
Very patiently, he says, “You need to stop being overprotective and over conscious about things. Learn to let things be. Materialistic things are still very easy to get back, but with humans it becomes suffocating.”
“You really want to start with it again? Now?”, she gives him a very exasperated look and continues, “Things don’t have a mind of their own, but humans do. I wanted it to be safe, I want you to be safe.”
“Exactly what I’m trying to make you understand here, darling. You need to let things be for them to work. Humans have their own mind and know what is best for them. No human would want to hurt itself and hence, will be self protective. Try hurting yourself sometime. I’m sure you won’t even prick a pin to your finger, just because it will hurt.”, he tries explaining for the nth time. He knows she is just going through a rough phase and will soon be back to her normal self. No matter what, he will not give up on her.

“Fine. I won’t say a word from now on”, she says and pushes him away. He sits down on his knees in front of her, at the edge of the bed where she is sitting, turning her head away.
He says, “Everyone needs a breathing space, baby. You were never this way. You are just gone into a blame mode for no reason. Every situation is not the same. You need to look at the circumstances too. They are different. They will always be different. You cannot always relate one situation to another.”

She knew he was right. Since the moment her friend’s husband passed away due to a heart stroke, she had been protective and cautious with everything; mostly about him. She kept an eye on what he eats, what he drinks, what is his schedule of work and workout. But with all of this, she didn’t understand the change that she was going through. She was turning into a completely different person. She was becoming overprotective and over caring. More than they both could take, which led to misunderstandings and arguments. She was behaving like a wife, when they had promised each other that nothing will change between their friendship even after they get married. Unknowingly, she was becoming a control freak, which she had realized, when he had yelled at her once during an argument using those words. She had felt very bad and had silently walked into their room, shutting the door behind her. He had then come in after a while and tucked her in, kissing her forehead and sneaking in beside her, wrapping his arm around her. He whispered something before sleeping, which led her to revisit her recent behavior.

At this very moment, the man whom she loved so much was kneeling down before her, looking at her with all the care and love, smiling, trying to fill some sense into her and make her understand. They had always shared a very different rapport. They could understand what the other meant even without saying. And yet, here she was behaving like someone she could never imagine. She knew he loved her and would never give up on her. She turned her head, looking into her lap and held his hands in hers. Suddenly, she got up and pulled him up too. Looking into his eyes she said, lets get a new picture clicked. At once he knew that his old, fun-loving, understanding girlfriend-turned-wife is back. It took a little long, but they always shared this understanding.
He smiles and says, “I love you”. And she simply smiled, feeling as if she has just been woken up from a deep sleep.

The Cupid Plays…

She looked up at him and he gave his usual contented, mischievous smile. They knew it felt different. It felt as if it was just yesterday when they were fighting like cats and dogs in the middle of a street for he had dashed her car from behind. People don’t call them accidents for no reason. This was the most amazing accident she had met with in her life and was all proud of talking about it, whenever given a chance. Never in her life had she imagined a life with someone as caring, loving, and understanding. He would guess things, even before she spoke them out loud, and vice versa. They both knew it, they shared a connection. A different connection where nothing else mattered, something which they had from the moment they met but never really paid attention to. Things changed gradually without their notice.

They met each other again the very next day at a friend’s party, both surprised to see each other there. Not really interacting because of the previous day’s incident, having presumptions about the way the other is. The next thing she knew she was standing right in front of him in a cafeteria near her office building. Of course, they both recognized each other and that was the first day they talked like sane, normal people, though like strangers, but normal. He told her that he worked in the same building she did. They had never seen each other before, but now they couldn’t help but notice. They met at the entrance once, while leaving from work and were chatting for around 30 minutes when they realized they both had to leave. That’s when they got to know that they both stay in the same vicinity, so they traveled together that day and a week later, everyday. They exchanged numbers not long after they met at the entrance and met in a coffee shop a few weeks after that. They both had plans of meeting other friends but ended up spending around 4 hours in the same shop and canceling their other plans. That was the first day they connected and talked so much. She was a bubbly girl, he was a decent and sophisticated chap, but both were fun loving and full of life. They could gel up well and never had any preconceptions about things or people. They could never stop talking to or about each other.

The day he proposed to her was the best day of her life. She was expecting it and he knew it, but he did confess his feelings and she couldn’t help but feel the happiest about it. But they both had expectations from their lives and had some gongs to bang before taking any step further.

Today, they were both sitting in the same coffee shop they had spent their first crazy hours talking, with their wedding invitations in hand, waiting for their friends to join in the celebration. A year had passed since he had proposed to her and they had decided to give it time. Their families knew they were the best suited and would keep each other sane and happy. Life played with their chances of encounter. They never realized but it kept pushing them towards each other. From the very first accident to the chain of events that kept happening, it was all written. Today when she thinks about it, it feels as if she was blind. Why didn’t she see all those signs? She picked his hand and kissed it, not being able to believe it was real. He said, “You are mine”. She smiled her most beautiful smile and his heart skipped a beat yet again.

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!