“Step into my shoes and then advice.” Do you get this often from someone you are trying to help with your suggestions or expert comments? Well, your intentions are not wrong and you really, genuinely want to help this person. You sure do. But, has it ever occurred to you that maybe, just maybe your solution is not what they might need? No matter what, you are a third person for this situation to get to you, really. You might really want to step into (figuratively, of course) the person’s shoes you are advising and then, maybe, you could get better clarity of what’s really happening. Have you ever felt what the person might be going through? Ok, let’s consider you have been through a similar situation. But, hey, that’s still similar and not the same.
There are times when you connect with someone so hard, just because you have something very precious in common. Your habits, your likings or maybe your feelings about something or someone in particular. This person is the one who “just gets you”. You don’t even need to explain things to make this person understand your thoughts. Unsaid words are just understood between you. This person knows what you really need and when to hold the horses. Well that’s the only thing really important, isn’t it? Knowing when to stop. We tend to over-suggest sometimes. We frustrate ourselves with the person’s incapability of seeing things as clearly as you do. But why should there be an imposition? Whatever suggestion you are making, if the person takes it, it is going to affect their lives, not yours. So, why such an annoyance when the person takes his/her time in contemplating whether your suggestions are going to work for them or no?
“It’s easier said than done.” This is something we get often too. Work problems? Quit the job. Annoying boss? Tell him off. Got groped in public? Show the asshole his place. Broke up or got separated? Move on, date someone else. Sometimes, if things happen out of the blue and when you are not expecting them, some brains take time to even register something of this sort could happen. There’s no point forcing things down people’s throat. Everyone needs their time. Not like they don’t know what’s best for them. Well, in fact, everyone knows deep down what’s best for them. But sometimes you are too clung on to things for you to get clarity in your head to do the right thing. It happens when it has to happen.
Giving ideas, throwing suggestions is easy. Implementing them is difficult. Sometimes you just have to hear it out and not suggest anything. Instead, think about how you can make the situation lighter and shower more love on the person to help them make space for clarity. In a moving life, it’s not possible to start over something. But it’s just possible to not rush to things just because you have to flush the difficulties, right? Seeing your loved ones, the ones you care for, in trouble, is difficult. But you need to do something which is more difficult than that – give them time. Just suggest, and let them make their own decisions.
Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!
life linez... 