It’s all about a little effort…

Taking people for granted is something that comes to us humans very naturally. In the times of our parents or our ancestors, people would care about others’ feelings, while today’s generation is more focused on keeping themselves happy. Our lives revolve around our careers, our people, and having fun. When I include our people, I mean they being around us and making us feel happy. But, what do we do to make sure they want to be in our lives? Do we put in any efforts to please them, to keep them happy, to make them feel wanted?

Being in a career oriented or a focused generation, we involve ourselves completely in pleasing our managers, our bosses, our seniors, and every soul who we think will ensure a boost in our career. We do this irrespective of being anyone, from a corporate employee to a businessman. Jahase munafa, waha pe focus aur efforts. While that’s our priority, the close ones in our lives are more of a support system. They are assumed to be “always there”. We expect them to rejoice our victories, alleviate our pain or failures, they are expected to always “understand”. Whether we do that in return is never thought about.

There’s not much that is needed. Only an attempt at putting in some minuscule efforts in making them feel they are a part of everything we do. If you say you do it, try recollecting the last time you said ‘I love you’ to your wife, or your mother, your children or even your father. It’s that basic. The smile that you get is priceless. It’s all about putting that conscious effort. And please don’t say that you do it on their birthdays or some special occasions. These days are a mandate and it’s a basic expectation that you need to make them feel special. But is that enough? What if you are fed a special dinner only on your birthday and the rest of the days you are made to eat daal chawal. Would that suffice? Wouldn’t you expect exciting food to be cooked over weekends? Many people crib about boring food cooked for dinner, saying after a long tiring day the least they expect is some good food. So, if you can’t deal with monotony every day and expect things to be done apart from your birthdays or special occasions, why can’t your loved ones expect you to shower some love every day?

They are supposed to understand our moods, our tiredness, our irritation and anger. But don’t you think the main reason they are in our lives is to make these feelings go away? Isn’t the reason we have them in our lives is to make us feel happy about our lives? Of course you need your space some times or rather most of the times. But shoving them away or yelling at them is not the solution. Or rather that’s the most stupid thing to do. Our generation is very low on patience. When they are trying to make an effort, we don’t return that effort. Instead we make it more difficult for them by being impatient and increase their irritation. Don’t forget, they have their own lives, their own irritations, their own problems that they are dealing with. Probably not letting you know about them inorder to not increase your stress. But do you do that too? Or do you tend to increase their irritation and stress? Share your problems, share your thoughts. That way they won’t be wondering what went wrong that you are not talking to them or what did they do to irritate you. The distance between two beds is the longest distance and it takes a lot to reduce this distance.

We take relationships very casually. Our parents are the most neglected people in our lives. Unfortunately, it’s too late by the time we understand this. Especially our fathers. They are always invisible. But when they are gone, we feel them the most. We think they are here to stay, but imagine a day when you had a fight with the person you love the most in your life, which you could have easily avoided by being a little patient and understanding. You still have that anger filled in your head with all the heated conversation so you don’t talk to each other. This loved one meets with an accident an dies. Can you imagine the feeling when you come to know the last thing you said to this person was so nasty, you could kill yourself for that? All your memories would be clouded just with that one thought. Imagine living with this hole in your heart. If you live each day with this feeling in your heart and the thought in your mind, you will start caring more. Better later than never right? Why don’t we start caring about our people from this moment on and say that we love them from the deepest corners of our heart? Do that little something that makes them happy and brings a smile on their faces. It’s all about putting that little effort. Try it?

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

Because breaking is easier than holding on…

Breaking that something is always so easy. We humans are, in general, very destructive in nature. Hence, instead of being a little patient and giving things some time, we choose to walk out of pesky situations. Even if we become a little unconformable or if things become a little inconvenient for us, instead of adjusting we choose to look for better options. But we fail to understand that a “better option” can always make an other option look better.

Is it really that difficult to digest happiness or make peace with reality? How much does a person really need to lead a happy life? Relationships are nowadays being treated in a very casual and horrific way. We have no respect for each other, their feelings, no consideration for age or experience. We find it very easy to just let go. Without thinking of the consequences, we tend to take random decisions and choose the easier way out. We just cannot be satisfied.

As we grow and move towards development, it seems as if our mental development and sustainability is deteriorating day by day. We lack even the basics of humanity let alone our conscience. We are far from being humans. As an Indian, our ancestors were very proud of the culture, the “sanskar” and all those teachings that they gave the following generation. The perfect medium through which they made sure things happened was fear. If a kid won’t sleep, they would scare them with some imaginary ghost; if a girl is menstruating she cannot visit holy places as it disgraces our gods and something bad will happen if she does visit; we have to follow “shravan” cuz we need to please our gods and so on. Everything comes down to fear. The point is, there is no wholeheartedness in what we do. We do things just for the sake of doing, irrespective of our basic behavior.

Then enters westernization and urbanization which we Indians royally blame. Why? Because it’s easy to blame and we just love the blame game. Because more and more people started following the so called western culture and this lead to our so called Indian culture to be disgraced. The purity and simplicity in the Indian culture has been taken away by us Indians only. Instead of levying things on people, we need to try and make them accept things with logic.

Has urbanization really led people to being disrespectful, inconsiderate, carefree, and just plain stupid? In disguise of westernization and in the flow of following the western culture blindly, we have lost ourselves somewhere. It’s good to improvise and bring new changes. But the things that you pick up from the outside world need not be something stupid. Why not pick up the best from what others do instead of following everything blindly? The westerners have picked up everything good from us like yoga, work culture, meditation and even family life for that matter. And we are doing the exact opposite. We are more interested in breaking our families in the name of independence. What we really are? We are mere hypocrites.

We blame men for playing double standards and being perverts. But in today’s world, women are no different. Rather, with just the insensible shield of the law and freedom, women are taking undue advantages of the situation and making men suffer. Well, if the man is really pathetic and deserves to be punished, you have the law to back you. But why on earth would you spoil a man’s life just because you are in the mood to play? Doesn’t your conscious kill you down there? A woman is equally responsible for her suffering. If a man is wrong, walk out instead of suffering. If he’s not wrong, spend a happy life with him instead of banging your foot on an axe!

Relations are very delicate. Even a little bit of negativity and you just cannot get back to normal. It’s a gamble nowadays. You just can’t be sure of a person and say confidently that this person will never walk away. Divorce has become a piece of cake. Yes, it is very easy to walk out and give up. But how about you try and make things work for a change? You walk out of a relationship to be with someone else. What makes you so sure that the person you are with will never do the same what you did to the other person? If you walk out for the sake of monitory benefits, how long is that money going to keep you safe? Walking away for your career, who will you celebrate your success with? Marilyn Monroe once said, “A career is wonderful, but you can’t curl up with it on a cold night.”

You need real people to live your life with. Put in that extra effort to make things work for that effort will make sure you fall short of a regret. Think rationally. Be selfish in a different way for a change. Not everyone is blessed with happiness.

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!